So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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