she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
