I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
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this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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