What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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