I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize