ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
