If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
