sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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