She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
