I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize