Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize