The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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