you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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