I wish i was in the wii world.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize