She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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