bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
