let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
