Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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