We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize