Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
3pm strippers are depressing
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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