and next time when you feel me up, do it right
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
