I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
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It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
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I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.