I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.