Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Oh just a soda. I'm "driving" http://tfl.nu/spob
  Replies (4) Good night (921) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it http://tfl.nu/mhur
  Replies (3) Good night (1104) Bad night (2580)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls. http://tfl.nu/2r1d
  Replies (9) Good night (773) Bad night (3716)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Wait, how do girls masturbate?

  (1-925): View more from California

  I dunno we use shower heads I guess.

  (925): View more from California

  ..how does it fit?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): Wait, how do girls masturbate? (1-925): I dunno we use shower heads I guess. (925): ..how does it fit? http://tfl.nu/ktf5
  Replies (85) Good night (2163) Bad night (5852)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy http://tfl.nu/04on
  Replies (25) Good night (5942) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible. http://tfl.nu/qot7
  Replies (31) Good night (10300) Bad night (1272)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!" http://tfl.nu/xp9i
  Replies (19) Good night (5909) Bad night (1252)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash? http://tfl.nu/u262
  Replies (8) Good night (921) Bad night (2589)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow. http://tfl.nu/uyrp
  Replies (17) Good night (2650) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat. (1-773): Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious. (773): We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru? http://tfl.nu/d3s4
  Replies (7) Good night (1520) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (731): She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro http://tfl.nu/kq10
  Replies (24) Good night (4306) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection http://tfl.nu/vqm1
  Replies (4) Good night (556) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl. http://tfl.nu/szyu
  Replies (5) Good night (710) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night? http://tfl.nu/8brj
  Replies (2) Good night (470) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic http://tfl.nu/uomd
  Replies (0) Good night (341) Bad night (461)

Randomize