Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Whod you bang

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  (313): Whod you bang http://tfl.nu/rw3i
  Replies (7) Good night (2838) Bad night (1017)
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  (516): View more from New York

  the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"

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  (516): the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice" http://tfl.nu/bgbh
  Replies (18) Good night (4075) Bad night (1099)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Do ugly people know they are ugly?

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  The quiet ones do.

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  (202): Do ugly people know they are ugly? (1-202): The quiet ones do. http://tfl.nu/129a
  Replies (25) Good night (2340) Bad night (2557)
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  (530): View more from California

  I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.

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  (530): I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame. http://tfl.nu/96nu
  Replies (45) Good night (774) Bad night (2612)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people

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  (515): brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people http://tfl.nu/wdd8
  Replies (43) Good night (1001) Bad night (4797)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..

  (219): View more from Indiana

  you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.

  (646): View more from New York

  nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..

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  (646): we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest.. (219): you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked. (646): nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us.. http://tfl.nu/wc73
  Replies (31) Good night (1398) Bad night (4865)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.

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  (412): She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing. http://tfl.nu/dwve
  Replies (6) Good night (2377) Bad night (1684)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.

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  (317): Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good. http://tfl.nu/7ot5
  Replies (2) Good night (3365) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.

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  (334): My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves. http://tfl.nu/fl2d
  Replies (11) Good night (3130) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.

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  (218): I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you. http://tfl.nu/buqu
  Replies (14) Good night (1608) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.

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  (360): I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top. http://tfl.nu/zeve
  Replies (11) Good night (982) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"

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  (215): You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!" http://tfl.nu/4gma
  Replies (2) Good night (458) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?

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  (719): Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit? http://tfl.nu/ng8r
  Replies (2) Good night (1282) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.

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  (732): Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please. http://tfl.nu/0g2f
  Replies (0) Good night (722) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...

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  (587): Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level... http://tfl.nu/ep5w
  Replies (0) Good night (173) Bad night (237)

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