Texts From Last Night

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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I thought you said his peep was too small

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.

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  (505): I thought you said his peep was too small (1-505): it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on. http://tfl.nu/ttsw
  Replies (11) Good night (658) Bad night (1737)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner

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  (206): I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner http://tfl.nu/6elk
  Replies (2) Good night (2741) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?

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  (415): I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first? http://tfl.nu/brke
  Replies (9) Good night (4862) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented

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  (618): bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented http://tfl.nu/qz6v
  Replies (35) Good night (7250) Bad night (1314)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve

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  (580): Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve http://tfl.nu/obez
  Replies (20) Good night (5246) Bad night (1513)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.

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  (615): Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span. http://tfl.nu/rd54
  Replies (36) Good night (6705) Bad night (1336)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.

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  (248): Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it. http://tfl.nu/bw3w
  Replies (9) Good night (3542) Bad night (1221)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....

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  (770): his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me.... http://tfl.nu/rsl7
  Replies (32) Good night (1425) Bad night (3172)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  You're the best wingman ever.

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  (702): We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you. (843): You're the best wingman ever. http://tfl.nu/wgzf
  Replies (13) Good night (2522) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league

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  (973): I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league http://tfl.nu/mvb2
  Replies (2) Good night (1209) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.

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  (720): The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby. http://tfl.nu/rm20
  Replies (3) Good night (878) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.

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  (306): thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand. http://tfl.nu/959s
  Replies (1) Good night (470) Bad night (183)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.

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  (302): Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos. http://tfl.nu/r9f5
  Replies (1) Good night (431) Bad night (180)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.

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  (925): I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King. http://tfl.nu/3lhe
  Replies (2) Good night (656) Bad night (183)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  ....you got kicked INTO a party??

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  (306): so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay. (1-306): ....you got kicked INTO a party?? http://tfl.nu/nppd
  Replies (1) Good night (718) Bad night (184)

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