i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?