Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.