Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Her vagina was like a man-sized safe. http://tfl.nu/e508
  Replies (10) Good night (651) Bad night (3503)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass http://tfl.nu/h161
  Replies (17) Good night (1319) Bad night (4456)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones http://tfl.nu/3i5q
  Replies (16) Good night (1299) Bad night (4473)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse. http://tfl.nu/0lkw
  Replies (22) Good night (8195) Bad night (1786)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days. http://tfl.nu/h5el
  Replies (25) Good night (4430) Bad night (1333)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here. http://tfl.nu/1bbr
  Replies (17) Good night (1258) Bad night (2885)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them" http://tfl.nu/9mkz
  Replies (3) Good night (2844) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high? http://tfl.nu/wnjj
  Replies (4) Good night (2617) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I have a broken liver

  (1-575): View more from New Mexico

  I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (575): I have a broken liver (1-575): I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us. http://tfl.nu/0hjr
  Replies (2) Good night (1316) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts. http://tfl.nu/r3r6
  Replies (5) Good night (585) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die. http://tfl.nu/zxmz
  Replies (7) Good night (2650) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving http://tfl.nu/x9wv
  Replies (5) Good night (1265) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex http://tfl.nu/avu5
  Replies (0) Good night (793) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up http://tfl.nu/mg00
  Replies (3) Good night (302) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage http://tfl.nu/24ub
  Replies (3) Good night (361) Bad night (817)

Randomize