I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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