do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
