low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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