I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
