he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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