I saw his package. It spoke to me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
