I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
