So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
