I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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