what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
