a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
