...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
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I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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