My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
