Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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