Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I wish I only lived at night.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
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i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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