he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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