Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
