I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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