I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
