I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
