headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
