my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
