i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
