I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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