Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
