Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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