i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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