that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
