addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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