garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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