Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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