Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
