So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
